Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Jean-etic theft

Be on the lookout today for any suspicious person wearing a size 32 waist Express or American Eagle jeans and carrying 11 other pair of jeans under his/her arm. They're probably Sean Thomas' and he'd like them back, thank you very much.

In a bit of irony, Thomas, one of our police reporters, was the victim Monday night of a heinous crime. He was doing a wash in the laundry room of his apartment complex. He was washing 12 pair of jeans and they were all apparently stolen out of the washing machine.

Which leads to two obvious questions for investigators: 1. Who has 12 pair of jeans? 2. How can you get 12 pair of jeans into one wash?

Thomas, who obviously makes more than most people thought, says he pays about $75 per pair and estimates it's a $900 theft.

"I was a victim of a crime," he said. "I need your sympathy."

Those in the newsroom early this morning were trying to muster up some sympathy, but honestly, were failing miserably at it. We were more fascinated about the cost of the jeans, the 12 pairs in the wash, and get this, THE MAN HAS 10 MORE PAIR.

Imagine losing 12 pair and it's just more than half of your total.

Perhaps the best thing to do is set up some kind of jean fund for Thomas, who is trying to soldier on despite the loss. Those interested should just mail me cash or a check in my name and I'll make sure he gets it. Maybe.


cindy said...

His true colors came out in the wash? He is all washed up? He's singing the wash-day blues?

t jones said...

hilarious writing, jon mark. well done.