Friday, October 16, 2009

Awards continue for Obama

Like everyone else in America, my inbox is full of the anti-Obama-if-you-love-America-you'll-send-this-to-five-people e-mails. If I read every one of them, my procrastination would be at an all-time high.

But this actually made me chuckle with some pretty good satire. Obama is really on a roll. After winning the Nobel Peace Prize last week, he's already been annointed as the 2010 winner of the Boston Marathon. Here's the story:

BOSTON - President Barack Obama won the 2010 Boston Marathon this morning in a stunning decision designed to encourage him to quit smoking and keep running to stay in shape. The Boston Athletic Association announced its decision to name Obama the winner even though the race will not be run until April 18, 2010 because the president has the desire to win and has good intentions.

In announcing Obama the winner the president of the BAA said, "We must rise above the outdated measurements of what a person actually has accomplished and focus instead on their intentions and what they say they will do. Intentions and talk are what drive the world."

Congressman Barney Frank and Chinese Vice President XI Jinping seated nearby reiterated these words.

The BAA also noted that no president has won the marathon before. This would set a good example for all future presidents of the United States and for other countries such as Iran and North Korea that intentions really matter.

Many observers were shocked by the unexpected decision six months before the race has even been run. However, when told of his win, President Obama said he had really been thinking a lot about keeping in shape, talked with staff aboutcutting back on his smoking, and even read an article about the Boston Marathon.

Obama added that wining the Boston Marathon was better than any other award he has received including his Nobel Prize, Tony for best performance by leading actor, Emmy for outstanding lead actor in drama series, Golden Globe for best performance of an actor in a comedy, Heisman Trophy for side-stepping the issues, NASCAR Chase champion, World Series Most Valuable Player, Best Twitter Page, and Teleprompters of America Best Reader.

1 comment:

Derek Epperson said...

This has to be about the most 'appropriate' response to the President's Nobel Prize.

This kind of reminds me of social promotion for kids in school, who haven't necessarily completed the requirements, but we sure don't want them to 'feel out of place' if they aren't passed.

Seriously, why don't we go old school: reward good actions and punish bad. Seems simple enough.